1. Post one paragraph you have written. Post it anonymously.
2. Write a comment, anonymously, on the post immediately following yours. Write a couple sentences of feedback each for rubric numbers 3, 5, 6, 7, 8.
3. Use the feedback given to your paragraph to improve it, and consider the feedback you just gave as you continue writing your essay.
Use this space to engage with our texts, with each other, and with your confusion.
Through language man attempts to distinguish the difference between people and the world. Man’s goal in life is to find himself and try to express it with other people. He wants to share his knowledge, experiences, and ideas. He does this with “the enormous resources of the English language, the power it bestows, after all, of communicating feelings” (129). Words are the bridge that allows humans to connect with one another. The English language has so much “power” because of its voluminous uses and ability to be wide-ranging yet specific. The language is limitless. Feelings can be described in so many different ways it mindboggling. And each individual has that power because he understands the language. If man can communicate, he can be happy. Life is spent first by doing and second by sharing. Clarissa realizes this after spending time lots of time with Peter Walsh. She comes to the realization that “it was the only thing worth saying – what one felt. Cleverness was silly. One must say simply what one felt” (139). Clarissa understands that life is about connecting with others, connecting with their feelings. People should not waste their lives trying to be clever. Being clever is not how people truly feel, so it is pointless. The only thing that people say of value is their feelings. Individuals bond with each other’s inside feelings. Cleverness is not how someone feels. It is not an actual feeling. Language is essential to life because without it one cannot discover who they truly are.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but this attempt at literary intellectualism is mediocre at best. What does all of this incessant rambling about English have to do with Mrs. Dalloway? You seemed anxious to use the word, "voluminous," but the fact of the matter is you fail in your futile attempts at brilliance. Good effort, but stick to what you do best, which is probably painting your refrigerator or challenging third graders to quiz bowls. Good day.
DeleteMake sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
Delete+1. This is incredibly an incredibly embarrassing body paragraph. I don't feel like speaking as fancy as the dude above me but agreed. Topic sentences are palatially misconstrued, and seem to hinder amorously around the true point at hand. Frankly, the robustly inaccurate stab at the true literary genius of Mrs. Dalloway in unfortunately missed. Just try and stay more focused and on point. Mediocre use of quotes though but a decent extremely rough first draft.
DeleteThis thesis seems to be interpretive and precisely worded, this seems to be a fine, but I still do not see a strong division between "people and the world.".... but this could easily be found and proven with more reading of the text. I wonder though, with a topic sentence like this, what must the thesis be? the topic sentence seems to be the thesis for a paper itself. Maybe the original thesis is to broad and the writer could specifically focus upon this topic sentence, making it into their thesis, and diving deeper into how "man attempts to distinguish the difference between people and the world."... Maybe man is actually trying to distinguish himself as an individual from the world rather than other people. The entire paragraph seems to bounce around some but I really grew from reading this.
DeleteProportion is beautiful and helps us measure the significance of something in relation to the world. Woolf says that health is proportion and also that some individuals worship proportion. She says, “But Proportion has a sister...Conversion is her name and she feasts on the wills of the weakly, loving to impress, to impose.”(74) She is saying that proportion has a sister, and that relative isn't as delightful as proportion. The sister of proportion is conversion, and conversion is the changing of one thing to another. Conversion is not as pleasant as proportion, and it is always searching for power. It is like proportions evils sister. Proportion is easy going and tries to balance everything out in society, and that is what is beautiful about it, while conversion is always changing trying to become the supreme authority in society. Woolf later mentions proportion by saying, “Shredding and slicing, dividing and subdividing, the clocks of Harley Street nibbled at the June day, counseled submission, upheld authority, and pointed out in chorus the supreme advantages of a sense of proportion...” (75) She uses the words shredding, slicing, dividing and subdividing to emphasize the actions of proportion. Proportion levels out the playing field of society to make everything equal and beautiful. Proportion gives one an advantage in life, it allows us to see the beauty in everything in the world.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you need prop "is beautiful." Sounds a little goofy. Good conclusion and good idea in topic sentence as well. Could you bring in a quote from a different part of the book rather than the next page to provide a different perspective?
DeleteRegardless, nice job.
good job
DeleteMake sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
Deletetopic sentence was very interpretive and related well to the rest of the paragraph. Good incorporation of quotes and analysis of the quotes. Good use of a mature and elaborate voice and as a whole, the writer expresses a clear message, and everything in the paragraph flows very well.
DeleteTo the public, Clarissa’s happiness is society, but for Clarissa, that is just a cover up for the true happiness she once had in her past that she now only has in her memories. Her happiness began in her younger years being with her good friend Sally Seton. Sally was everything that Clarissa was not; rebellious, outgoing, and free. When Sally spent a summer at Burton with her, Clarissa began to get a taste of what it meant to be free. Sally taught her things that she had never learned before about sex and about life, making her realize that her life was completely sheltered. Clarissa remembers this summer with great enthusiasm, reminiscing on the love that she and Sally once had. She remembers, “Sally is was who made her feel, for the first time, how sheltered the life at Burton was. She knew nothing about sex-- nothing about social problems... There they sat, hour after hour... taking about life, how they were to reform the world” (25). This is Clarissa’s happiness. She speaks with such vivid imagery about this life she wish she still had, with the woman that she loves. She continues, “But this question of love... this falling in love with women. Take Sally Seton; her relation in the old days with Sally Seton. Had not that, after all, been love” (24)? Clarissa knows that this relationship was love, and she knows this for sure after they share a passionate kiss, but to the society that Clarissa cares so much about, the love was never given a chance to fully blossom. She hides this love, only with her memories to keep her company in her later years.
ReplyDeletegood paragraph!!
Deletegood
DeleteMake sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
Delete3. Good topic sentence but it is kind of long. Try to cut it down a little.
Delete5. Your paragraph stays focused on the topic sentence.
6. You analyze your quotes well but you need to go deeper into the quotes.
7. yes they are used in a thorough manner.
8. I like the word choice and the sentences are clear.
Good parapraph. I like your topic sentence. You do a good job at supporting your topic sentence with the rest of the paragraph and quotes. You stay on topic the whole way, the only thing that I would say that you should change would be to talk more about how society is just a cover up oftrue happiness.
DeletePeople face a lot of experiences every single day. In an article called “Modern Fiction” Virginia Woolf says, “The mind receives myriad impressions…from all sides they come, an incessant shower of innumerable atoms.” This means that the mind is impacted by every little thing that happens every day. When she says “myriad” and “innumerable” she is explaining that the number experiences that a person faces is gigantic. In the opening scene of Mrs Dalloway, Clarissa sees “flowers: delphiniums, sweet peas, bunches of lilac; and carnations, masses of carnations. There were roses; there were irises. Ah yes – so she breathed in the earthly garden smell” (10). The rest of the paragraph is her going on about the minor detail of the flowers, from the colors to the smells and every small thing they reminded her of. She was completely surrounded by hundreds of flowers that all spoke to her in some way.
ReplyDelete"people face a lot of experiences every single day." could that be a broader sentence? lets tighten that up a bit and this could be a phenomenal paragraph! But why is this relevant for anything? what do these tiny experiences mean/ what is the significance?
DeleteMake sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
Deletehey, anonymous, those are some good paragraphs
ReplyDeleteSeptimus is too far gone to really be concerned with his wife. He can’t handle the fact that his madness causes her to suffer, too. Her suffering is, of course, just another sign that everyone was affected by the war, not just those fighting in it. “Look! Her wedding ring slipped – she had grown so thin. It was she who suffered – but she had nobody to tell” (17). Clarissa has two very different mindsets: one is her belief in beauty and life’s precious moments, and the other (deep beneath that) is a fear of death and isolation. This second feeling she holds deep inside, but it’s always there. “She had a perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day” (6). When Peter meets Richard, he immediately knows that Clarissa will marry him. He has been replaced, and feels abandoned.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good paragraph. The topic sentence is interpretive and precisely worded. Your paragraph stays focused through out the whole thing. I kind of see how your quotes go together, but otherwise i think this is a very strong paragraph.
DeleteMake sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
DeleteVirginia Woolf uses Clarissa and Septimus to highlight the self because they draw from their experiences to realize who they are in that moment in time. Clarissa and Septimus are both very similar even though the two do not know each other. Both of their selves are fallen apart into little pieces. Although the two are very similar, they also have their differences. While Septimus cracks from being broken, Clarissa fixes that and views herself as being one full self. ""That was herself," thinks Clarissa, as she stares into the mirror."Pointed Dartlike; definite. That was herself when some effort, some call on her to be herself, drew the parts together, she alone knew how different, how incompatible and composed so for the world only into one centre, one diamond, one woman who sat in her drawing room" (37). Clarissa knows how difficult it is for one to see them self totally together. When the effort was made, the different fragments of herself were then put together. For that moment in time, she knew who she was even though her individual self is always changing through experience. Once again, Mrs. Dalloway realizes who she is. "For there she was" (194). She was who she was during that exact moment in time. Mrs. Dalloway is not always exactly sure who she is during each moment because our self is always changing, whether it is a subtle change or a drastic change it is nonetheless changing. Our self during each moment is simply a combination of all of our experiences over time but that can be a tricky thing to figure out constantly. When it says, for there she was it is just another time Clarissa really knows who she was in that moment.
ReplyDeleteMake sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
DeleteThrough the use of tapping into ones thoughts and investigating their inner attitude, Virginia Woolf challenges her readers to realize the human issue of vogue versus reality. In the novel there is a constant change in narrator. The thought and feelings of the characters are what is being seen by the readers of the book. She uses the many characters such as Clarissa Dalloway and the other towns’ people of London. Clarissa Dalloway views herself as a hostess, and yet somewhat dreads that life. She imagines what her life would be like if she did not have that title. The decisions that she made throughout her life were so focused on her role and what society think that she never focused on what makes her happy.
ReplyDelete“That was her self-pointed; dart like; definite. That was herself when some effort, some call on her to be herself, drew the parts together” (27)
Realizing this causes Mrs. Dalloway to see that whom she feel that she is and who everyone knows her to be is not the real her and that she must try to find the true her. This leads her to feel admiration to those that realize that self satisfaction is better than pleasing others. An example of this is Sally Seton whom Mrs. Dalloway feels lives a better life. She says that she
“did the most idiotic things out of bravado” (34).
She is saying that these things are idiotic to other people because it doesn’t fit into the “norm” but in the end it is people like Sally Seton who truly success in life. This novel allows the readers to see the point of views of each of the characters not only from the outside in but the inside out; and they realize that what seems to be acceptable normal and popular in society are not always true to each individual.
I agree with this completely
Deletebeautiful writing yayyyyyyy
DeleteFrom another point of view Woolf enlightens us with the idea of true happiness through communication stating that “Communication is health; communication is happiness. Communication, he muttered” (pg 69). Through these words, she leaves us the message that true happiness lies deep within us and through the communications we have with others. Even if these words are muttered there is always a presence of happiness because we have the ability, the strength, and he opportunity to speak our minds freely. Without this concept we all seemed to be bottled up and turn our feelings inward, without the strength to say what we feel there is no way anybody else would know. That is why true happiness lies within every word we speak no matter how we say it. From yelling to the muttering of each word, Woolf tells us that true happiness is in utterance of our own words, and that itself is the true meaning to the world and everyone on it.
ReplyDeleteword.
Deletecotton
DeleteMake sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
DeleteEVERYONE! Make sure that your thesis us a little bit more interpretive and that you come to a full discovery. This needs to be clear to the reader also. Each part of your essay should come in the order that it is presented in your thesis and introduction. Make the topic sentences relate more to what you are writing about so that it becomes a discovery of what the topic is. not only explain your quote but also interpret it and explain how you mean. Try to maintain one voice and spice it up a little.
ReplyDelete